His Kind of Mission
by Sketcher1994
Summary: "Part of him expected his guildmates to creep slowly out of the shadows, glaring at him accusingly, telling him over and over that it was his fault" GaLe one-shot.


**AN: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

**Just a little idea that came into head while I was revising Chemistry :)**

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He could feel it rising in the back of his throat. He couldn't believe how he was feeling right now. Anger grew as he regretted not following them. If something happened he'd never forgive himself. Even if she trusted them, he knew they couldn't protect her.

It had been too long. Shrimp should have been back by now. Gajeel was literally sick with worry. She'd asked if he'd wanted to go since it had seemed like 'his kind of mission', which pretty much meant 'beat up a monster, grab the lost item, and get paid'. He'd turned her down flat. Why would he want to go with those puppies?!

Salamander and Bunnygirl sat next to him, chatting enthusiastically. Every now and then Bunnygirl flashed a fake smile in his direction. It just made him worse. He could see right through it - it just reflected his own worries straight back at him, but Bunnygirl's eyes also showed some other, much darker, feeling that never left her. He couldn't decide between pity and blame, but it was irritating him to no end.

Gajeel just wanted to get away from her. He felt bad enough already – Shrimp had just caught him off guard; he hadn't meant to be quite so blunt when she'd asked. He looked up at another night's sky through the guild's windows. Another day gone and still no Shrimp. She should have been back a week ago with Team Shadow Gear. Why hadn't he gone? This feeling of guilt just wouldn't leave him.

He felt so empty as he searched the guild hall, hoping this was just some distasteful joke. Without her smile, her laugh and her silent company he felt so alone. He had friends at the guild now, he had done for years – but none of them were Shrimp. The only time they knew what he was thinking was when he was looking for a fight. Their voices grated against his ears due to his keen hearing, unlike Shrimp's soft, powerful voice.

He knew he couldn't manage to find a reason to actually put effort into life at the guild without her. He may as well not be here, in fact he wasn't even sure he was here. He kept mindlessly grabbing one day missions to make sure that he'd be here when she got back. If she got back.

His mind was getting restless. He couldn't cope with this empty, painful loneliness anymore. Nothing he did got rid of it, it just wouldn't leave him. He just couldn't get his dark thoughts to stop circling. He couldn't believe how helpless he felt. He didn't even know where to start looking, and it had been too long to try to find her by her scent. Why had he sneered at her when she'd asked?

He went to the bar; he wasn't ready to go home. He couldn't keep on going without her. He if went home he'd be surrounded by her scent that she'd left when she'd come to ask him. He hadn't been back since. Since then he'd been sleeping out under the stars near the path he knew she'd left along. Lily was the only one he could talk to. How many nightmares had he had since?

He dreamt of her beaten, limp body being carried by her puppies. He dreamt of their tears, of their story. He dreamt of putting them into the same state as they'd let her tiny body get into. He dreamt of them lying beside her. He dreamt of the cold stone. The three markers carved out of it. He dreamt of Shrimp's funeral. Shrimp would lie with her puppies for eternity because he'd failed her.

He'd called her and her team pathetic. He'd sneered at his Shrimp. He'd told her he'd rather die painfully then go on a mission with her and her puppies. She'd shouted at him, defending her friends and ran out of his door crying. He'd hurt her. He'd made her cry. He deserved this guilt. He deserved this pain. It was his fault she wasn't here. It was his fault she was never coming back. What had he done?

He'd never have another good night's sleep. He'd dream of her death until long after the world had ended. His world already had. Lily had to keep waking him from his nightmares. His despairing shouts would wake up Magnolia. His Dragon's Roar would destroy the forest. His magic was slowly going out of control. As his dreams had became more intense, he'd started using his magic more and more in his sleep. He was waking up covered in dark grey scales, but worst of all - he was getting dangerous.

He started to consider trying to join her in that other world. There would be no more guilt, no more empty loneliness. He'd finally be able to tell her the truth. He'd be able to spend eternity with his Shrimp. He started to question if his conviction to remain the heartless iron dragon slayer had been right. If he had just allowed himself to show some sort of feeling, maybe his Shrimp would still be here. His cold, iron-clad heart and ruthlessly cruel and guarded mind had killed his Shrimp.

He stood outside of the graveyard, no idea how he'd gotten there. He could feel the shadows moving around him. Part of him expected his guildmates to creep slowly out of the shadows, glaring at him accusingly, telling him over and over that it was his fault she was dead. He was the reason she no longer belonged with them. She belonged to the world Mavis visited from now. It was his fault; he should have gone with them.

He watched the shadows seemingly move through his escaping tears. He just hadn't been ready. He'd fallen for her and he just hadn't been ready. He hadn't been ready to openly let someone in, but she'd already slipped in – he knew that now.

She'd knocked on his door, came into his house, stood with him while they drank tea in his kitchen. She'd stood right beside him, leaning her tiny weight against him. She'd pulled out a job poster. She'd asked him with her crimson blush to go with them. She'd wanted him beside her. He'd panicked. He hadn't been ready. Now he was paying for it, her memory had dragged him to where her gravestone would be raised. He'd killed her because he wasn't ready to let her in, even though she was already the light to his dark. A forlorn whisper escaped him.

"I love you...Levy."

"Gajeel?"

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**So...yeah, waiting too long and not thinking before you act is a bad idea – you may regret it later, hopefully not while you're standing crying outside a graveyard. :'( Anyway, hope you liked it! :)**


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